A new year inevitably brings with it re-evaluations of your life situation. What are you doing, what will the next 12 months hold, what possibilities for renewal, what same mistakes will be made?
My own particular existential angst these past few days has been fixated on the idea of legitimation: what does it mean to have your work or ideas legitimised by others, and what does it mean when your work isn’t? How do people creating or working outside of dominant frameworks have the strength to carry on if the value of what they are doing is not recognised? By being recognised I mean being funded or supported by an institutional body, either through a placement or a steady job, or having people put your work out (record companies, publishing houses and so forth), or have some kind of public acknowledgement of the value of what you are doing (good reviews, etc).
I’ve been thinking through these questions with the backdrop of the economic climate, which seems to be grinding to ever more spectacular halts. While the impact of the recession continues to resonate through our lives, with it comes the disappearance of work for precariously funded ventures and the cultural industries as a whole. As such, the paths for legitimised creative working become ever more slim and we have find our own alternatives, we have to create our own legitimation.
As a woman and queer who finds it hard to compromise (but is learning the value of listening to criticism and humility), I know that I have to fight hard to be a creative agent within a culture that remains, on the whole, pretty hostile to me. Likewise I know that I also have privilege which enables me to play the games easier, and which I use to my advantage as well (I can write funding applications and be middle class when I need to be).
I think the biggest tool I have at my disposal, however, is being steeped in the values of do it yourself (DIY) culture. On a daily basis it gives me such a sense of personal legitimation, the power to shape and mould my own life on my own terms. Given the current economic climate, many other creative people are also, I imagine, in the same position. Without a job that would potentially de-radicalise them by being inserted into institutional rhythms and patterns, there is the possibility of a loose, creative meandering in our own time. This time can be used to scurry and twist the reality of personal destiny with a message of our own making. What do we say outside of the hyper-speed of late capitalism? What are our desires and what will we make?
The down side of the economic situation, of course, is perpetual poverty, but at least many people are in the same boat. A benefit is that we may be forced into more public encounters to spread information. The possibilities for free and accessible education may increase as people, like me, who are simply passionate about what they know will have to organise public educational events else they will explode. If I can’t get a job in a university because there aren’t any, I’m going to create my
own forms of dissemination and encounter.
Likewise with research. If I can’t get funding for research projects, I’m just going to go ahead and do the research anyway. Well that was my revelation for this week. I need to just set up my own research schema (and obviously pick up paid work where I can) and get on with it. I desperately want to develop my skills as a researcher, in particular in the realm of history. As my PhD was in a critical theory, I didn’t exactly gain any worthwhile skills. Already I’ve learnt so much from just doing historical research in a DIY context (interviewing people, rooting through archives), and again I feel inspired daily by this ethic which never fails to give me a sense of personal power.
Maybe the recession is just giving me the chance to be ever more belligerant about doing my own thing, but in these times of despair for many it is important to realise there is hope, that we can still do what we love without being validated by anyone. It is also important to build networks, have mentors and not be isolated as you build your life in the way that you want it to be. So while this may be a lag for many, it may also be a time where we can be creative in different ways, and with a different purpose. Calamity can be fortunate sometimes.
Hi Chops
I totally agree with what you are saying, and I did not give enough room in this post to talk about the ways in which middle class privilege allows me in particular to exist in the ways that I am currently am, and how the economic and social perks of being middle class (inheritances, being given substantial sums of money at certain times of year, e.g. birthdays, holidays) enables those with class privilege to co(a)st on through life in an easier way. And while my father certainly worked his arse off, and got where he was through ‘just hard work,’ I have had all the benefits of that hard work (being supported through university, being bought things, e.g. equipment I need/ want to do my work effectively).
So yeah, I think class plays a massive role in how I am currently able to negotiate where I am in the world, although I do think that the cards that I play (gender, sexuality, being generally a bit weird) do matter and have had an impact on my self-esteem in terms of taking my own work to the world with confidence and pride. Thankyou for elaborating and sharing your experiences and enriching the points made on this post.
I’m not sure if you have seen the website/ project Enough, based in America? http://www.enoughenough.org. I think you would totally love it, please check it out. I think does so much to smash the silence, embarrassment and shame of talking about class from multiple positions, as well as offering ways of visioning the future, different economies, ways of distributing wealth, and so forth.
To add one more thing, I think on a personal level, the power of DIY, and the importance of it my life just clicked for me the past few days, as it does over and over and over again. I think that is why I wrote that the post, so it was a very personal or indulgent musing on the matter. I’m glad it can be opened up!